The Perfect Jew

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The Perfect Jew by Bob Miller

Like Jews or hate them, you simply must give them credit for being the industry standard when it comes to entrepreneurism and capitalism. Take my favorite Jew, Bernard Madoff; he stuck it to everyone who was able to gain an audience with him.

The sharper the crook, the harder it is to get in to see them and old Bernie, as his marks were allowed to call him, made his victims beg, wait and beg again before he'd allow them to crawl on their hands and knees into his parlor. Good old Bernie used the tried and true method of using the other person's greed to rip them off. Here, I'll let Berie summarize. "They were like pigs. Shoving and pushing to get to the deep end of the trough."

Five years ago everyone Bernard Madoff allowed into his parlor couldn't wait to brag about getting in to see the smartest guy on Wall Street. Why just getting your picture taken with Madoff was considered a priceless possession. Now there're a lot of offices and homes that have just an outline where these once coveted pictures of Madoff used to hang.

My dear Mr. Madoff, I know your thoughts. While most believe you are depressed and sorry, you are smiling inside remembering the times you've had knowing that those who are delighted you're in jail will never see inside of a $7 million penthouse, eat a $200 spoonful of beluga caviar and watch as every face at by invitation only parties light up as they entered a room. You, Sir, are the perfect Jew. Your investment plan might have been pork, Bernie, but as far as your Jewish friends were concerned, it was kosher.

Biography: Bob Miller was born in Florence, Alabama. Miller served as a pilot in Vietnam in 1968-69 and was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross and the Air Medal. Challenged Richard Shelby for a seat in the U.S. Senate in 1992. Produced the television show, The Late Show (BLAB 2001). Worked as the golf pro on Holland America's ms Westerdam. Bob Miller is America's most controversial writer and has authored seven books.