To all apprentice politicians. Never, and I mean never, accept an offer to speak where short people congregate (first through third grades). It's almost impossible to lie to them and get away with it.

I had flown hundreds of missions in Vietnam and believed I had experienced terror. I literally shook as this saucer-eyed monster, standing all of four feet tall, picking his nose, looked deep into my soul and asked, “Are you sure about that, mister?”

Finally I found my rhythm and, just as it began to look as if I had struck a chord, this little princess raised her hand and said, “Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

I knew that the power of suggestion was strong, but I had never witnessed it affecting a group as this young lady asking to be excused had done. Even I felt the need, but that would have left only the teacher and my only true admirer, a well-groomed male child, so I squeezed into the desk across the aisle from him, seeking safety in numbers.

He smiled, shook my hand, and asked if I knew anything about catching catfish? Thank God, my uncle had taken me fishing and taught me that catfish liked balls of sourdough bread garnished with earthworms. I truly believe with all my heart that I gained a supporter that day.

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